By Sister Lourdes Gonzalez, MGSpS
“Are you crazy? What is happening to you? I don’t understand anything” These are some of the comments I heard from several people when I shared with them my desire to respond to God’s call, when He was calling me to be part of his life, to dedicate my life to him, in service to my brothers and sisters.
With simplicity, I share with you the way in which God charmed me and I let myself be seduced by him.
I was 20-years-old when suddenly, without knowing why, I began to feel a sense of emptiness, of dissatisfaction. Nothing of what I did or saw around me made sense. By then I had finished my interior decoration studies at the University of Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico, and I was working. With my savings I had bought a new car which made me feel like I was living in a dream. I was very pleased to have achieved one of my dreams in such a short time.
And I had a boyfriend. He was a nice young man, a professional, responsible and respectful. It was a good match, as it is commonly said. I also had good friends with whom I traveled frequently to the beach and other places we enjoyed and I had a good relationship with my extended family. I could not understand why I was feeling this inner emptiness.
Although my parents were active Catholics, I only attended Mass on Sundays and Holy Days but tried to live my life in a very healthy and responsible way. I say this to mention that God’s call came without me asking.
I put in my lips the words of the Prophet Amos, “I was not a prophet nor the son of prophet, I was a pastor and seller of figs.” The Lord took me from following the flock and said to me, go prophesy to my people Israel.”(Amos 7:14-16)
I went through a period of uncertainty, searching in my inner self, trying to figure out, to discover what was going on. I wanted to get to the root of this feeling so strange that I was experiencing in my heart.
By chance, one day I met Mother Mary of Jesus Ramos, MGSpS, who worked in my parish, Immaculate Heart of Mary. She had been working there for two years but I didn’t know her. I remember very well, it was a Tuesday. Luckily, I was at home that day and at 5 in the afternoon as she knocked on the door to lead a Bible study, something she did weekly at different homes as part of her apostolate.
As soon as I saw her my heart began to beat at a rapid pace, as if the presence of a religious was a novelty to me, as if I had never seen a Sister in my life. That was not the case because I had studied at a Catholic school with the Servants of Jesus of the Blessed Sacrament.
Since the first moment I was very impressed by Mother Mary – her joy, her joviality, when my gaze crossed with hers, and I liked the way she conducted the meeting, so cordial, direct when she spoke to all the people gathered there.
From then on I asked her to talk with me so she could help me discover what was going on in my life. Kindly she accepted, I don’t remember how often we gathered and for how long we talked.
Finally I asked her to let me live an experience with the community to learn more, to see how they lived and what they were doing. A short time later she told me I could go to Morelia to have an experience with the postulants (girls who are starting their process in religious life).
I remember that when I arrived at the community’s house, and from the moment they opened the door I said ‘here it is! This is what I am looking for!’
The ministry I have undertaken as a Missionary Guadalupana of the Holy Spirit has been in this beloved country, United States, specifically in California, Florida, Georgia, Massachusetts and now here in Mississippi for almost six years. Currently I am serving the Hispanic community of Jackson at St. Therese Parish: “You duped me, O Lord, and I let myself be duped; you were too strong form me, and you triumphed. (Jr. 20:7)